Improve communication with your wife and add to world peace!!!!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
patriarchy
I just finished re-reading bell hooks' book on love (it's called Communion). I had forgotten about bell since my 12th grade women's studies teacher Mr. Coleman first introduced her to me. Her writing really speaks to me. She brings up a lot of interesting ideas about communication, love, and partnerships/relationships. One of her premises is that a man or woman's search for love is valid but that this quest is undermined in our patriarchal society.
When I was back in DC, I saw a lot of family dynamics that made me quite sad. Not my family's, but my boyfriend's. Relating back to bell hooks' book, she discusses how men (and women) sometimes do not have the "ability" or tools to love.
We were back in DC because Marcos' mom was getting remarried. The situation became a bit odd since we were staying at his dad's house. I feel sorry for Marcos' dad. He's such a stereotype of all latino men (sorry to say that). It's tragic. He lectures instead of having a dialogue, he never asks questions and he always has all the answers. The effect of this behavior hurts everyone in the process. People don't get enough attention.
Children need a lot of attention. Parents need to ask a LOT of questions. They need to show interest. It can't be faked. Children don't care how smart/accomplished parents are (up to a certain point).
When I was back in DC, I saw a lot of family dynamics that made me quite sad. Not my family's, but my boyfriend's. Relating back to bell hooks' book, she discusses how men (and women) sometimes do not have the "ability" or tools to love.
We were back in DC because Marcos' mom was getting remarried. The situation became a bit odd since we were staying at his dad's house. I feel sorry for Marcos' dad. He's such a stereotype of all latino men (sorry to say that). It's tragic. He lectures instead of having a dialogue, he never asks questions and he always has all the answers. The effect of this behavior hurts everyone in the process. People don't get enough attention.
Children need a lot of attention. Parents need to ask a LOT of questions. They need to show interest. It can't be faked. Children don't care how smart/accomplished parents are (up to a certain point).
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
New perspective on life
So I'm in DC for a short time and I have a whole new appreciation for it (big surprise here). It's really a beautiful city and I think I took its beauty for granted when I lived here a year ago. Sure, the people have dumpy clothes and it's full of all of the ex-class presidents/student council presidents, but I can deal with it here.
I was reading an article that asked readers to rate whether they believed "DC sucked more or less than Boston". The whole premise is laughable and ridiculous but entertaining nevertheless.
I'm enjoying my break away from Memphis and getting more work done here. All I can say is this, 99% of women who live in DC, NY and even the west coast would not survive one month in Memphis. Yes. One month.Take my boyfriend's cousin (who is a woman). She routinely tells off bouncers, her boyfriend, and anyone else along the way...but is beautiful and gets away with it.
Despite my negatively spouted freely on this blog, I am actually able to contain my dark cloud when I'm around others. However, I learned that unless you are saccharine sweet to men in Memphis, you will be treated as an "uppity woman". And, apparently, there is no greater sin in the South than to be perceived as an "uppity woman." Just ask Hillary.
Wrong: Go into an auto body shop and ask "insolent" questions like, "When will my car be ready?"
Right: coyly curl a lock of hair, flutter eyelashes, show leg and ask so demurely, "Heyyyyyyy honey.........Ah've been waitin' for you.....and my car.......Now when are you going to be a big boy and get my car revved up?"
You had told me that it would be done in 15 minutes on the phone 5 minutes ago."
I was reading an article that asked readers to rate whether they believed "DC sucked more or less than Boston". The whole premise is laughable and ridiculous but entertaining nevertheless.
I'm enjoying my break away from Memphis and getting more work done here. All I can say is this, 99% of women who live in DC, NY and even the west coast would not survive one month in Memphis. Yes. One month.Take my boyfriend's cousin (who is a woman). She routinely tells off bouncers, her boyfriend, and anyone else along the way...but is beautiful and gets away with it.
Despite my negatively spouted freely on this blog, I am actually able to contain my dark cloud when I'm around others. However, I learned that unless you are saccharine sweet to men in Memphis, you will be treated as an "uppity woman". And, apparently, there is no greater sin in the South than to be perceived as an "uppity woman." Just ask Hillary.
Wrong: Go into an auto body shop and ask "insolent" questions like, "When will my car be ready?"
Right: coyly curl a lock of hair, flutter eyelashes, show leg and ask so demurely, "Heyyyyyyy honey.........Ah've been waitin' for you.....and my car.......Now when are you going to be a big boy and get my car revved up?"
You had told me that it would be done in 15 minutes on the phone 5 minutes ago."
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