Jesus v. Buddha v. Allah

This is a cartoon depiction of a concert I attended in Memphis. I almost fell out of my chair laughing when this musician, Martin Sexton, did this. It was clearly unintentional on his part, but it was funny b/c the crowd didn't quite play along to him.

I heart cockroaches!

Cockroaches are in some ways more disturbing than rats/rodents/other varmints. They are larger here and they come out of nowhere. Marcos almost knocked down his entire bookshelf trying to swat one.

My old roommate Amanda has the funniest cockroach story. She once tried to kill a cockroach and severed it in half with one swat. The horror story was not over, though. This cockroach was pregnant and she found tons of eggs....then, even though the momma cockroach was half dead, it still managed to collect itself, "re-chi", and scurry off with half of its body remaining!!!

This was too much for the cockroach-phobic Amanda. She screamed in sheer terror and continued to smack it wildly---and it wouldn't die!! Next thing she knew, her doorbell was ringing and someone was knocking at the door. She cautiously opened the door and a group of men dressed in black SWAT gear shouted, "Freeze, you're under arrest!" (you can imagine their disbelief when all of this was caused by a tenacious bug.....)

Apparently, her neighbors had mistaken her screams and the smacking sound with someone being abused!!!

Neighborhood crackheads

Perhaps you can't see the man in the center right portion of this photo, but he is our neighborhood crackhead. He walks up and down our block with a shopping cart and he moves a bit like a zombie. Coming from the Haight-Ashbury district, I should find his presence midly comforting, but I don't. He walks like a cross between a zombie and a robot, with minimal use of muscles. His cigarette is stuck in his mouth but his lips don't form a supportive "o" around it. I don't know why he collects bottles or cans, because there is NO COIN RETURN for any can in the lovely state of Tennessee. I think that's my requirement for where I'll live next--I must live in a state that has a coin return for cans (Marcos, I hope you are reading this) . Jesus, Oregon enacted the coin return for cans back in the 1970s and is moving on to water bottles. Tennessee is sometimes like being in a country in the Middle East, without the good food. Everything is about 20 years behind the rest of the country.

I went to a job interview yesterday and the woman had a snapshot of Nixon on her wall (clearly she had taken it). I asked (as casually as I could), "did you get to meet the president?" She retorted, "you're the first person who asked me that point-blank. I did take that picture and no, I'm not a Republican." I was mildly relieved. Another interview I went to I found a copy of Ann Coulter's "Treason" on the bookshelf. I felt a visceral pain in the gut of my stomach when I made that discovery. Ann Coulter is certifiably insane. That's like having a copy of Hitler's "Mein Kampf" on my business bookshelf.

Thought for the day

jogging today I saw this pleasant notice:

Bumper sticker on a Georgia plates car

"If you were to die today, would you go to HEAVEN or HELL?"

Getaway to SF this weekend

Overheard conversation between a little 6 year old girl and her mom at the 16th St. and Mission BART in San Francisco.

Litle girl: Mom, since we are in SF today, are we going to see some real HOBOS today?
Mom: Hobos! I was once a hobo myself! What are you talking about hobos?
Little girl: Mom! No you weren’t!
Mom: Yes I was! I was homeless and lived in Golden Gate park from the age of 14 to 19.
Little girl (voice shakes): No you weren’t! You weren’t a hobo!
Mom: Yes I was, I was a hobo. Don’t judge your own kind! Judge and be judged.

i miss san francisco.

Another day in Memphis

As I went to get my morning coffee, I saw a woman with an unusually short skirt standing in front of the First Congregational Church today, about one block from my house. Although it was indeed hot, her skirt was more like a shirt. Suddenly I realized that she was not waiting for a bus.....then, out of nowhere, the neighborhood ice cream man circled around and proceeded to pick up this lady! He probably figured, the kids won't be out of school for another 2 hours....

Just another Tuesday in Memphis.......

Wonder Bread and other depressing yet interesting buildings

The first time I saw this Hostess/Wonder Bread bargain store, the weather was gray and stormy and much more fitting than when I took the picture today. It's right next to the highway.

Refrigerators of my life for the past 5 years

I like to take pictures of the contents of my refrigerator where I am currently living. I can instantly remember many things just by looking at the sort of food that I had in there at a given point. I think it would be interesting to take pictures of the inside of other people's refrigerators and imagine what they are like as people. Could you guess if they are single, married, what part of the world they are from, their hobbies, etc...?

Juke joints galore!

While out of focus, I love this image because it captures the image of a classic juke joint in Clarksdale, Mississippi. At a typical juke joint, the building itself is usually falling apart. There is a small dance floor, forties of beer are sold, and the music is largely improvisational.

One thing that I really enjoy about this area is the live music. We stumbled into a juke joint the other night and saw this old couple getting down. The old man said that he was 85 and this was his first time dancing in 5 years since his heart surgery. He was so happy!

Fertile Soil

It always makes me happy to see how my herb and vegetable garden is developing. I bought organic soil (didn't think it would make a difference but it has, apparently) and everything is in full bloom! I can't wait to make my first dish with my yellow squash (which you can see from the picture has at least 12 flowers!) Let me know if anyone has any good recipe suggestions for this vegetable.

Oddness

Various churches advertise why you should join their parish.
Memphis is full of sad and haunted buildings that have not changed since 1955. Would you belive that people still bowl at the "Imperial Lanes"? It looks like the trees are a permanent ficture in the building itself.

Praise the Lard (part 2)

It's a sad and unfortunate fact that some of the highest rates of obesity are in Memphis and in the South. Fried food, fried catfish, fried pickles, white bread, sweet n' low and tons of Coke are all to blame! Plus, add the fact that everything is drive-thru--drive-thru ATMs, drive-thru Starbucks, drive-thru pharmacy. The whole town was designed around a car. It's hard to walk places because it's JUST beyond the point of where it's worth it to walk (e.g. it takes 45 minutes to walk to Walgreen's one-way). I would argue that this city is designed for you to at least be 15 pounds overweight.

Praise the Lard!

We went to the annual Memphis BBQ festival recently and saw this scene just at the entrance. A man was shouting into a microphone telling everyone why we all deserved to go to hell. The strangest/saddest thing was that he had brought several young disciples (his sons) who sadly had to listen to their father rant. I think many people wished that they could cut his mike.

Memphis...succinctly

Welcome to my blog. I am trying to add as much humor to my time here in the South. There is a saying in Polish that a guest sees more in a day than the owner sees in a lifetime. I would like to think that I have a fresh perspective because, although I've been here 2 months, I have had the following impressions of Memphis. I am thinking about creating a comic book of my experiences in the South.