Lost in Dixieland

Happy Kwanzaa!

2007-12-24T12:19:00.001-08:00

We had a work "holiday" party this year in the home of one of the employees.

The director of our department is sweet, spacey, and slightly behind the times (though thinks that we are "cutting edge"). She just found out what an ipod was, for example.

Our department is about 95% white and 5% black (not the statistics for the company as a whole).

Back to the holiday party-the director was in the midst of thanking her department for all of its hard work, etc. etc...Imagine the set up: all of the black people happened to be in one part of the room for some reason (standing close to each other). The director finished up her speech and wished everyone a "Happy Holiday" and then she turned and addressed the group of black people head on and said, "and Happy Kwanzaa!"

The black people were suppressing laughter with all of their might (as was I). The funny thing is, I suspect that a lot of the black people in the South are "more" Christian than the white people.

Several other social gaffes were made at this party...

2007-10-03T20:25:00.000-07:00

The Optimist Shining Through:

-I joined a local Barack Obama political group and am encouraged by the energy.....mostly black people and a few others (which I guess is not so odd given where I am)..

-I've been taking capoeira for the past month and LOVE IT. Only 1-2 people are in the class so it's essentially a private lesson with a master!! I love all the music, the drums, and the movements.....

-I've met a group of Memphis outsiders---they have a cook-out every Sunday--it's a group of people from Spain, Mexico, Haiti, all over....

-I got a job!

The Inner Cynic:

-I still don't like it here!
-My job is boring!
-The people who I work with were asked, "If you could have lunch with 3 people, who would those 3 people be?"

Responses:

George W. Bush
George Bush
Barbara Bush
Ronald Reagan
Rush Limbaugh
Sean Hannity
jesus
Mary

No Comment

2007-08-28T16:18:00.000-07:00

Improve communication with your wife and add to world peace!!!!

patriarchy

2007-08-16T20:53:00.000-07:00

I just finished re-reading bell hooks' book on love (it's called Communion). I had forgotten about bell since my 12th grade women's studies teacher Mr. Coleman first introduced her to me. Her writing really speaks to me. She brings up a lot of interesting ideas about communication, love, and partnerships/relationships. One of her premises is that a man or woman's search for love is valid but that this quest is undermined in our patriarchal society.

When I was back in DC, I saw a lot of family dynamics that made me quite sad. Not my family's, but my boyfriend's. Relating back to bell hooks' book, she discusses how men (and women) sometimes do not have the "ability" or tools to love.

We were back in DC because Marcos' mom was getting remarried. The situation became a bit odd since we were staying at his dad's house. I feel sorry for Marcos' dad. He's such a stereotype of all latino men (sorry to say that). It's tragic. He lectures instead of having a dialogue, he never asks questions and he always has all the answers. The effect of this behavior hurts everyone in the process. People don't get enough attention.

Children need a lot of attention. Parents need to ask a LOT of questions. They need to show interest. It can't be faked. Children don't care how smart/accomplished parents are (up to a certain point).

New perspective on life

2007-08-01T21:37:00.001-07:00

So I'm in DC for a short time and I have a whole new appreciation for it (big surprise here). It's really a beautiful city and I think I took its beauty for granted when I lived here a year ago. Sure, the people have dumpy clothes and it's full of all of the ex-class presidents/student council presidents, but I can deal with it here.

I was reading an article that asked readers to rate whether they believed "DC sucked more or less than Boston". The whole premise is laughable and ridiculous but entertaining nevertheless.

I'm enjoying my break away from Memphis and getting more work done here. All I can say is this, 99% of women who live in DC, NY and even the west coast would not survive one month in Memphis. Yes. One month.Take my boyfriend's cousin (who is a woman). She routinely tells off bouncers, her boyfriend, and anyone else along the way...but is beautiful and gets away with it.

Despite my negatively spouted freely on this blog, I am actually able to contain my dark cloud when I'm around others. However, I learned that unless you are saccharine sweet to men in Memphis, you will be treated as an "uppity woman". And, apparently, there is no greater sin in the South than to be perceived as an "uppity woman." Just ask Hillary.

Wrong: Go into an auto body shop and ask "insolent" questions like, "When will my car be ready?"

Right: coyly curl a lock of hair, flutter eyelashes, show leg and ask so demurely, "Heyyyyyyy honey.........Ah've been waitin' for you.....and my car.......Now when are you going to be a big boy and get my car revved up?"

You had told me that it would be done in 15 minutes on the phone 5 minutes ago."

i like fries

2007-07-19T20:55:00.001-07:00

I admit it, I'm falling head over heels for them...

Reelfoot Lake and "Home Cookin'!"

2007-07-08T19:31:00.001-07:00

OK, we were told that this was "home cookin' " which I now know is code for: "everything is fried food." We ordered 2 simple dishes and they came back with 6 plates full of fried fat--fried frog legs, fried oysters, fried fish, fried chicken, fried catfish, onion rings, fries, biscuits, and "hush puppies" (which are fried something.) It was literally a Bill Clinton meal (when he was in office) . Then, at the counter, they had king sized Snicker bars to go!!!

We went on a sunset tour of Reelfoot Lake yesterday. This is the site of the biggest earthquake of the Northern Hemisphere (back in the 1800s.) During this earthquake was that the Mississippi River floated backwards for 20 minutes and the result was this lake! The roots of cypress trees are visible ....it was very beautiful and interesting.

To Be A Proper Southern Lady

2007-07-06T14:48:00.001-07:00

Following up to the post on how this is "the season of balls" in Memphis (the Princess Ball, the Zodiac Ball, etc..." I was given "feedback" from a professional colleague today (who is also an outsider to this community). She told me that I may be perceived as having "too direct of a style, I have an assertive vibe, and that that can be perceived as being pushy." She then said that she could "coach" me on being less assertive.

This is all very amusing to me. It's funny because I've gone from Berkeley/San Francisco to Memphis and Memphis perceives this as "pushy".

It's taken me this long to finally become a bit more confident in my abilities, and now I'm being told that I have to "tone it down." I honestly want to leave the South. Now. I sometimes dream of getting in my car and just driving out of the state as fast as possible. I would be so happy.

When I left for Memphis a few months ago, I spoke with a woman who had moved out of Memphis 20 yrs ago. She gave me advice which I scribbled dutifully on to the backside of an envelope. I shared it with my 2 southern friends and the three of us roared with laughter that last day in Golden Gate Park.

Here is the advice which she gave me on "how to make it in Memphis":

a) smile a lot
b) wear makeup and flirt during your interviews
c) if you have hair, grow it long
d) wear florals
e) wear skirts
f) wear pastels
g) learn to talk slow and be respectful of men

I almost puked when I heard this. I actually thought to myself, "there's no way it could be this bad."

First of all, I "get" the whole non-aggressive thing. I don't even like aggressive or even slightly pushy people myself. The thing I don't like about the South is that it's not even necessarily laidback, it's just slow. Everything.

I also get the whole polite thing and I dig that, too. When I hear or talk to people from DC now, I hear how their voices are more strident and negative. For example, I remember when I first talked over the phone with a woman from DC, I thought, "why is she in such a bad mood?" I always thought that, even when I had been living in CA for a long time.

The other thing about Memphis is that there is a huge schism between the "cool" kids (the musicians) and the rest of the community. All the cool kids stick together and the floral crowd sticks together too.

Princesses, Weird Necks, and Other Interesting Buildings

2007-07-05T11:53:00.000-07:00

Other Cultural Reference Points-Memphis

2007-07-05T11:39:00.001-07:00

This is where Martin Luther King was shot--it's now been converted into the National Civil Rights Museum--one of the best interactive museums I've been in.

This is CK's--where we get breakfast most weekends. It's a total dive diner and 75% of patrons smoke. The waitresses are always in a good mood though.

2007-06-29T21:46:00.000-07:00

Jesus v. Buddha v. Allah

2007-06-29T16:46:00.001-07:00

This is a cartoon depiction of a concert I attended in Memphis. I almost fell out of my chair laughing when this musician, Martin Sexton, did this. It was clearly unintentional on his part, but it was funny b/c the crowd didn't quite play along to him.

I heart cockroaches!

2007-06-21T13:33:00.000-07:00

Cockroaches are in some ways more disturbing than rats/rodents/other varmints. They are larger here and they come out of nowhere. Marcos almost knocked down his entire bookshelf trying to swat one.

My old roommate Amanda has the funniest cockroach story. She once tried to kill a cockroach and severed it in half with one swat. The horror story was not over, though. This cockroach was pregnant and she found tons of eggs....then, even though the momma cockroach was half dead, it still managed to collect itself, "re-chi", and scurry off with half of its body remaining!!!

This was too much for the cockroach-phobic Amanda. She screamed in sheer terror and continued to smack it wildly---and it wouldn't die!! Next thing she knew, her doorbell was ringing and someone was knocking at the door. She cautiously opened the door and a group of men dressed in black SWAT gear shouted, "Freeze, you're under arrest!" (you can imagine their disbelief when all of this was caused by a tenacious bug.....)

Apparently, her neighbors had mistaken her screams and the smacking sound with someone being abused!!!

Neighborhood crackheads

2007-06-20T13:47:00.001-07:00

Perhaps you can't see the man in the center right portion of this photo, but he is our neighborhood crackhead. He walks up and down our block with a shopping cart and he moves a bit like a zombie. Coming from the Haight-Ashbury district, I should find his presence midly comforting, but I don't. He walks like a cross between a zombie and a robot, with minimal use of muscles. His cigarette is stuck in his mouth but his lips don't form a supportive "o" around it. I don't know why he collects bottles or cans, because there is NO COIN RETURN for any can in the lovely state of Tennessee. I think that's my requirement for where I'll live next--I must live in a state that has a coin return for cans (Marcos, I hope you are reading this) . Jesus, Oregon enacted the coin return for cans back in the 1970s and is moving on to water bottles. Tennessee is sometimes like being in a country in the Middle East, without the good food. Everything is about 20 years behind the rest of the country.

I went to a job interview yesterday and the woman had a snapshot of Nixon on her wall (clearly she had taken it). I asked (as casually as I could), "did you get to meet the president?" She retorted, "you're the first person who asked me that point-blank. I did take that picture and no, I'm not a Republican." I was mildly relieved. Another interview I went to I found a copy of Ann Coulter's "Treason" on the bookshelf. I felt a visceral pain in the gut of my stomach when I made that discovery. Ann Coulter is certifiably insane. That's like having a copy of Hitler's "Mein Kampf" on my business bookshelf.

Thought for the day

2007-06-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

jogging today I saw this pleasant notice:

Bumper sticker on a Georgia plates car

"If you were to die today, would you go to HEAVEN or HELL?"

Getaway to SF this weekend

2007-06-18T21:41:00.000-07:00

Overheard conversation between a little 6 year old girl and her mom at the 16th St. and Mission BART in San Francisco.

Litle girl: Mom, since we are in SF today, are we going to see some real HOBOS today?
Mom: Hobos! I was once a hobo myself! What are you talking about hobos?
Little girl: Mom! No you weren’t!
Mom: Yes I was! I was homeless and lived in Golden Gate park from the age of 14 to 19.
Little girl (voice shakes): No you weren’t! You weren’t a hobo!
Mom: Yes I was, I was a hobo. Don’t judge your own kind! Judge and be judged.

i miss san francisco.

Another day in Memphis

2007-06-12T19:39:00.000-07:00

As I went to get my morning coffee, I saw a woman with an unusually short skirt standing in front of the First Congregational Church today, about one block from my house. Although it was indeed hot, her skirt was more like a shirt. Suddenly I realized that she was not waiting for a bus.....then, out of nowhere, the neighborhood ice cream man circled around and proceeded to pick up this lady! He probably figured, the kids won't be out of school for another 2 hours....

Just another Tuesday in Memphis.......

Wonder Bread and other depressing yet interesting buildings

2007-06-12T19:28:00.001-07:00

The first time I saw this Hostess/Wonder Bread bargain store, the weather was gray and stormy and much more fitting than when I took the picture today. It's right next to the highway.

Refrigerators of my life for the past 5 years

2007-06-12T13:29:00.001-07:00

I like to take pictures of the contents of my refrigerator where I am currently living. I can instantly remember many things just by looking at the sort of food that I had in there at a given point. I think it would be interesting to take pictures of the inside of other people's refrigerators and imagine what they are like as people. Could you guess if they are single, married, what part of the world they are from, their hobbies, etc...?

Juke joints galore!

2007-06-10T15:52:00.000-07:00

While out of focus, I love this image because it captures the image of a classic juke joint in Clarksdale, Mississippi. At a typical juke joint, the building itself is usually falling apart. There is a small dance floor, forties of beer are sold, and the music is largely improvisational.

One thing that I really enjoy about this area is the live music. We stumbled into a juke joint the other night and saw this old couple getting down. The old man said that he was 85 and this was his first time dancing in 5 years since his heart surgery. He was so happy!

Fertile Soil

2007-06-10T15:50:00.000-07:00

It always makes me happy to see how my herb and vegetable garden is developing. I bought organic soil (didn't think it would make a difference but it has, apparently) and everything is in full bloom! I can't wait to make my first dish with my yellow squash (which you can see from the picture has at least 12 flowers!) Let me know if anyone has any good recipe suggestions for this vegetable.

Oddness

2007-06-10T15:43:00.001-07:00

Various churches advertise why you should join their parish.
Memphis is full of sad and haunted buildings that have not changed since 1955. Would you belive that people still bowl at the "Imperial Lanes"? It looks like the trees are a permanent ficture in the building itself.

Praise the Lard (part 2)

2007-06-10T15:20:00.001-07:00

It's a sad and unfortunate fact that some of the highest rates of obesity are in Memphis and in the South. Fried food, fried catfish, fried pickles, white bread, sweet n' low and tons of Coke are all to blame! Plus, add the fact that everything is drive-thru--drive-thru ATMs, drive-thru Starbucks, drive-thru pharmacy. The whole town was designed around a car. It's hard to walk places because it's JUST beyond the point of where it's worth it to walk (e.g. it takes 45 minutes to walk to Walgreen's one-way). I would argue that this city is designed for you to at least be 15 pounds overweight.

Praise the Lard!

2007-06-10T15:14:00.001-07:00

We went to the annual Memphis BBQ festival recently and saw this scene just at the entrance. A man was shouting into a microphone telling everyone why we all deserved to go to hell. The strangest/saddest thing was that he had brought several young disciples (his sons) who sadly had to listen to their father rant. I think many people wished that they could cut his mike.

Memphis...succinctly

2007-06-10T14:24:00.001-07:00

Welcome to my blog. I am trying to add as much humor to my time here in the South. There is a saying in Polish that a guest sees more in a day than the owner sees in a lifetime. I would like to think that I have a fresh perspective because, although I've been here 2 months, I have had the following impressions of Memphis. I am thinking about creating a comic book of my experiences in the South.